Three years ago, December 3rd was a Friday night. I was 20 weeks pregnant with our fourth child, and starting to feel it. Due to an anterior placenta, I had not felt my littlest one move much, but earlier that day, I had smiled at some big kicks. I have…
Capture Your Grief Day 22: Words
Two nights after John Blaise was stillborn, I woke in the middle of the night with a poem in my head. I’m talking 4 am. And full verses. I had been given this poem. A good friend from church and one of my writing groups read it for me at John’s…
Capture Your Grief Day 18: Release
All of life is a game of Catch and Release, isn’t it? Some things are harder to catch (on to) than others: the ideal spouse, a good job, a sense of self-esteem. For some of us, children. Or maybe faith, inner peace, or acceptance of circumstances. Mick Jagger might add…
Capture Your Grief Day 16: Seasons
On December 4, 2010, the world changed. Who noticed? My fourth son, John Blaise, was due on April 24, 2011—Easter Sunday that year. Instead, I went into premature labor at 20 weeks, the first Friday in December to a backdrop of twinkle lights. Our little boy still had a heartbeat…
Capture Your Grief Day 17: Time
It has been 1,048 days since John Blaise was born still. I have survived 44 days since losing Alexander. But that is chronos. God lives in kairos. So do my tiny ones.