poetry • art • marriage • momhood • faith

Capture Your Grief Day 14: Family

Woe to the innocent grocery shopper who happens to stand in line with me and my circus, who attempts polite chit-chat by asking, “Three boys?”  The fellow shopper shall stand corrected by the seven-year-old, “Actually, there are FIVE boys—two died,” and shall offer an awkward “Oh” in response.

I am used to this situation by now, having eased into it one child at a time.  I sympathize with the uncomfortable, unknowing, fellow shopper. How could he (or, more often, she) have known of our family’s heavenly contingent?


This picture is from the wonderful week we spent at the beach this past summer. Anyone looking at the picture will see me, my husband, and our “big three.” But just as in my day-to-day, most would not see the presence of John Blaise or Alexander.  What most would not know is that I am 13 weeks pregnant with Alexander in this picture, and I am wearing my necklace of John’s footprint.

This is my family.  At least, this is the family with whom I share a roof.

If home is where the heart is, is family what makes that heart beat?

You can’t tell, but outside the frame of that picture are my parents, my brother and brother-in-law, my sisters, an aunt, cousins, second cousins, nieces, and a nephew… and that’s just on the beach.

My husband and I have not been alone in the loss of our sons.  Our extended family, though miles away, has helped to carry us.  Some were able to come be at our side, and some have been emotional support from afar, even as they cry with us.

Since losing John Blaise, my family has grown.  It has grown to envelop friends who became so much more through their walking with us on this journey.  And my family has grown to include members of this “sisterhood” I never would have met if not for our children who left us too soon.

Lil Angels Hankies family

Lil Angels Hankies family

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To take part in #captureyourgrief for 2013 visit this link to get all of the information http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2013/09/capture-your-grief-october-2013.html. To see the facebook event please click here https://www.facebook.com/events/735339813149251/


  1. Laura Laura
    October 18, 2013    

    I love you! So glad I have been able to call you sister from the beginning…

    • Julie Julie
      October 18, 2013    

      Me too, Laura! Absolutely. I love you!

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  1. Family – Where My Treasure Is – #captureyourgrief | Julie Ann Cook on October 9, 2015 at 5:48 pm

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torch bearing quietly

I will not act out, will not
yell or curse or slam doors,
will not make a scene -- you
do not deserve such a chance
to make an example out of me
to be proven right since you
are not. Instead, I'll stand
at this street corner, raise
my hand high and clench that
light which yet remains. It
will burn brightly, quietly,
fiercely before fading as I.

Then I'll be gone but found.

©JAC 2005

Poetry by Julie Ann Cook!

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Love Like Weeds
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