“Just wanna know that You still know how many hairs are on my head. Oh, great God (Are You small enough?) Be small enough to hear me now” — Nicole Nordeman, “Small Enough” Where am I, who am I now? I heard the song lyrics above today for the first…
Capture Your Grief Day 6: Ritual
Today’s prompt is “Ritual.” I considered skipping it because, really, I didn’t think I had any rituals having to do with my boys in heaven. I’m not very good with maintaining routines of any sort. But the more I thought about it, I realized I did have some little things…
Capture Your Grief Day 5: Memory
When I think of my tiny boys, the first memories that come to mind are troubling. I hate that the strongest memories I have of John Blaise and Alexander are both of that moment when I realized I was going to lose the baby, when my water broke prematurely. I…
Capture Your Grief Day 3: Myths
October 3, 2013 “How are you doing?” That is perhaps the most difficult question to answer after losing a baby. At least that’s been the case for me. How exactly am I supposed to answer that question? On what scale am supposed to evaluate my well-being? And, really, does…
Capture Your Grief Day 2: Identity
October 2, 2013 I am the mother of five boys. My husband and I have joked that the reason God hasn’t given us a girl yet is that we can’t agree on a girl name. In five pregnancies, we haven’t decided on a girl name once, but the boys’ names…