poetry • art • marriage • momhood • faith

Capture Your Grief Day 1: Sunrise

Day 1: Sunrise

Day 1: Sunrise, Rock Hill, SC 7:19 am ET #captureyourgrief 2013

October 1, 2013.

Today is the first sunrise I’ve witnessed since July, our wonderful week at the beach, while I was just wrapping up my first trimester of pregnancy with Lightning Bug. I was so happy that week. It was the best vacation, well, maybe second to my honeymoon. Maybe. The weather was perfect. The company was great. The location was wonderful. And I was expecting. Expecting a “rainbow.”

 

Today marks four weeks since that promise of a “rainbow baby” slipped away and Alexander Gregory joined John Blaise in heaven.

I couldn’t find the sun this morning.  I mean, there’s no good view of sunrise or sunset from our house.  Trees all around our neighborhood make it impossible to see the sun meet the horizon.  And yeah, that wasn’t a “requirement” for this project, per se.  But it was something I needed. So after I dropped off the older two boys at school, G & I went for a little drive around the lake at Winthrop. The fog rising from the fields and water reminded me that this is fall, even though the trees are still full and green here.

 

The sunlight was golden.

 

I guess sometimes we need to go looking for our sunrises.  If we stay where we are, those sunrises will still happen, sure.  But we might miss them. We might forget there’s more than the darkness we see from where we stand.

 

Yesterday was a good day, but last night was dark.

 

Only God knows what today will hold, but it started with a gorgeous fall sunrise.

 

* Join me as I work through a month of honoring and remembering my boys in heaven: Capture Your Grief 2013 http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2013/09/capture-your-grief-october-2013.html

4 Comments

  1. Lisa Lisa
    October 1, 2013    

    Julie, that is absolutley beautiful and a wonderful promise too. We have to look or we just stay trapped in one area. Thank you! My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family. HUGS!

    • Julie Julie
      October 1, 2013    

      Thank you, Lisa. I believe everyone’s prayers are what are sustaining me. My love to you and yours.

  2. Judy Judy
    October 1, 2013    

    Beautiful, Julie. May we all find sunrises!

  3. October 2, 2013    

    The sunrises are one reason I love being on the boat. My thoughts are with you.

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torch bearing quietly

I will not act out, will not
yell or curse or slam doors,
will not make a scene -- you
do not deserve such a chance
to make an example out of me
to be proven right since you
are not. Instead, I'll stand
at this street corner, raise
my hand high and clench that
light which yet remains. It
will burn brightly, quietly,
fiercely before fading as I.

Then I'll be gone but found.

©JAC 2005

Poetry by Julie Ann Cook!

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Love Like Weeds
by Julie Ann Cook
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