October 1, 2013.
Today is the first sunrise I’ve witnessed since July, our wonderful week at the beach, while I was just wrapping up my first trimester of pregnancy with Lightning Bug. I was so happy that week. It was the best vacation, well, maybe second to my honeymoon. Maybe. The weather was perfect. The company was great. The location was wonderful. And I was expecting. Expecting a “rainbow.”
Today marks four weeks since that promise of a “rainbow baby” slipped away and Alexander Gregory joined John Blaise in heaven.
I couldn’t find the sun this morning. I mean, there’s no good view of sunrise or sunset from our house. Trees all around our neighborhood make it impossible to see the sun meet the horizon. And yeah, that wasn’t a “requirement” for this project, per se. But it was something I needed. So after I dropped off the older two boys at school, G & I went for a little drive around the lake at Winthrop. The fog rising from the fields and water reminded me that this is fall, even though the trees are still full and green here.
The sunlight was golden.
I guess sometimes we need to go looking for our sunrises. If we stay where we are, those sunrises will still happen, sure. But we might miss them. We might forget there’s more than the darkness we see from where we stand.
Yesterday was a good day, but last night was dark.
Only God knows what today will hold, but it started with a gorgeous fall sunrise.
* Join me as I work through a month of honoring and remembering my boys in heaven: Capture Your Grief 2013 http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2013/09/capture-your-grief-october-2013.html