poetry • art • marriage • momhood • faith

a hatch for the "Big Argument" tally

For the first time in my married life, I truly understand how divorces happen. How two people who were so sure their “forever” was together end up spending time with their kids on opposite weekends.

In hindsight it was dumb. I was overreacting (I even knew this at the time) but what else is new, right? But at what point do you stop shrugging off inconveniences and oversights, at what point do you scream, desperate for the attention and priority your spouse had given you on your honeymoon? How long do you hold back that exclamatory slap in the face to turn his head, to point out “hey, we need to fix this”?

I was so angry, I was physically ill. I felt nauseous and lightheaded. I couldn’t breathe right. I paced.

Would someone turn these hyperactive hormones OFF?

He tried to fix it. I guess he managed to do so. But neither of us has apologized. We haven’t talked about it. I think we need to yet. We could sweep it under the carpet, but it’d still be there to trip over later.

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torch bearing quietly

I will not act out, will not
yell or curse or slam doors,
will not make a scene -- you
do not deserve such a chance
to make an example out of me
to be proven right since you
are not. Instead, I'll stand
at this street corner, raise
my hand high and clench that
light which yet remains. It
will burn brightly, quietly,
fiercely before fading as I.

Then I'll be gone but found.

©JAC 2005

Poetry by Julie Ann Cook!

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Love Like Weeds
by Julie Ann Cook
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