poetry • art • marriage • momhood • faith

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I’ve had enough of it. About 90 minutes ago I blew up over the phone at my dad. Badly. I was screaming. (Munchkin was laughing at me — glad someone got something good out of it.) I hyperventilated for nearly 10 minutes afterwards, realizing all the while that this is a stupid response. A normal person wouldn’t be reacting like that. But I’m not sorry, nor was it uncalled for. I mean, my reaction was over the top, but the fact that I finally let loose about how frustrated I am with his and mom’s lack of communication, well, that was totally overdue. I’m SICK of being the “third party” — I’ve got my OWN marriage to make work, I shouldn’t have the stress of theirs as well.

In all fairness, a good 50% of that blow up should have been directed to Mom. Dad was just lucky enough to have answered the phone. Anyhow. Yeah.

I’m starting to get worked up over it again, so I’m going to leave it alone.

Oh, what I came here to say was that I emailed them both to let them know that I will not be speaking with them until I see them in person on Thursday. In the meantime, I will take emails and voice mail messages, but I will not take any phonecalls from them. I’ve had enough.

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torch bearing quietly

I will not act out, will not
yell or curse or slam doors,
will not make a scene -- you
do not deserve such a chance
to make an example out of me
to be proven right since you
are not. Instead, I'll stand
at this street corner, raise
my hand high and clench that
light which yet remains. It
will burn brightly, quietly,
fiercely before fading as I.

Then I'll be gone but found.

©JAC 2005

Poetry by Julie Ann Cook!

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Love Like Weeds
by Julie Ann Cook
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