“Just wanna know that You still know how many hairs are on my head. Oh, great God (Are You small enough?) Be small enough to hear me now” — Nicole Nordeman, “Small Enough” Where am I, who am I now? I heard the song lyrics above today for the first…
Capture Your Grief Day 6: Ritual
Today’s prompt is “Ritual.” I considered skipping it because, really, I didn’t think I had any rituals having to do with my boys in heaven. I’m not very good with maintaining routines of any sort. But the more I thought about it, I realized I did have some little things…
Capture Your Grief Day 5: Memory
When I think of my tiny boys, the first memories that come to mind are troubling. I hate that the strongest memories I have of John Blaise and Alexander are both of that moment when I realized I was going to lose the baby, when my water broke prematurely. I…
Capture Your Grief Day 4: Legacy
A great misconception our culture perpetuates is that the longer the life, the greater the legacy, the more valuable the life. This is closely tied to the ugly belief some hold that a child in the womb has no “value” unless the mother wants him or her. But as many…
Capture Your Grief Day 2: Identity
October 2, 2013 I am the mother of five boys. My husband and I have joked that the reason God hasn’t given us a girl yet is that we can’t agree on a girl name. In five pregnancies, we haven’t decided on a girl name once, but the boys’ names…