October 2, 2013 I am the mother of five boys. My husband and I have joked that the reason God hasn’t given us a girl yet is that we can’t agree on a girl name. In five pregnancies, we haven’t decided on a girl name once, but the boys’ names…
Capture Your Grief Day 1: Sunrise
October 1, 2013. Today is the first sunrise I’ve witnessed since July, our wonderful week at the beach, while I was just wrapping up my first trimester of pregnancy with Lightning Bug. I was so happy that week. It was the best vacation, well, maybe second to my honeymoon. Maybe.…
Before we bury you
Dear Lightning Bug, It has been over two weeks since I first held you in my arms, over four months too soon. Two weeks since we gave you your “real” name, Alexander Gregory. Two weeks since we told you goodbye. I am so sad that you aren’t with us,…
Before the First Ultrasound
It is midnight the eve before I see you on the ultrasound screen for the first time. I am SO excited… and apparently pretty nervous too. I have been fighting physical symptoms of anxiety all weekend. I would much rather deal with pregnancy symptoms, if only because they are easier to explain.
Dear Lightning Bug
May 28, 2013 Dear Lightning Bug, Three days have passed since I have learned I am your mommy. Precious little jelly-bean baby, how my heart lept with the surprise of that second pink line! I don’t know if God told you before He sent you to me and…