I did it again…

I won something from the radio! And like every other time, I didn’t know what I was calling to win … so anyhow, I won some Jason Mraz stuff (you know, the guy who sings “The Remedy”) including a pair of tickets to his in-studio performance at The Link tomorrow morning, his concert at Treemont Music Hall tomorrow night, and his CD. How cool is that?! 🙂 Unfortunately I can’t use the tickets for tomorrow night… any takers? I won’t charge (much ;)) …

In other news, YYLC is just about here! I’m excited… not about not seeing my husband for nearly a week — but hey, I don’t really get to see him anyhow… :-/ (which just reminded me that I need to update my about me page probably now that I’m hitched). Anyhow, more on that after the fact. Guess that’s it for now.

It’s more than sex or sex or race …

but it’s usually one of them. It’s ugly and it reeks of ignorance and unfounded anger. It’s the dirty underwear hiding in corners of skeletal closets. Some have several; nearly everyone has at least one. Most of us deny ownership of such a smelly, stained undergarment. And so on the rare occasions when we might actually do some spring cleaning, we have no choice but to re-stash it, disgusting as it might be. Too many “what if” worries prevent us from throwing it out in the trash: what if I need it some day? what if the neighbors smell it? what if the garbage man sees it?

Why don’t we all just get rid of our prejudices? We all have them. They all smell. And they’ll never do anything for us but cause embarrassment.

Why can’t we all just grow up?

…it’s the little things that drive a person mad…

Things are running relatively smoothly… but there will inevitably be bumps in the road, right? (bumps like those awful speed bumps we have in our apartment complex — unnecessarily high and poorly constructed but well-suited to their purpose of ticking people off) Anyhow, just talked with Holiday Inn about adding 2 last minute people to the count. Yes, they say, it’s ok. Then she goes on to say that she doesn’t know why we were giving individual counts for the entrees.

“You all are having self-serve,” she observes, “so you don’t need counts for the entrees.”

Didn’t I ask that MONTHS ago when I had to design and print and send out the RSVP cards with the invites? Heck, I think I even have the email message printed in which she said that, yes, it IS necessary to give counts for each. Not that it really matters now. It will be easier for the day of, but shoot, I made myself a good bit of extra work.

I know I asked specifically about that.

oh, well.

In other news, it’s thursday. The wedding is Saturday. I woke up feeling sick this morning. I think I’m unconsciously nervous. That’s what my stomach felt like at least, like I was nervous. But I really am ready. I’m not really nervous, my tummy just didn’t get that memo.

Today’s project: announcements. Oh, wait. I forgot to bring the paper to print them on with me to work. Guess I’ll have to stop by Career Services tomorrow to take care of that. Or I could try printing them on my little deskjet. There are only 40, but that’s 80 sides… and it’s cardstock… unless I figure something else out really quick. Any ideas? Laura can help me with them if I do them tomorrow…

Speaking of tomorrow, I’ve got my nail appointment at noon… near school. [streamofconsciousness] So if I DO print those at CS, it should work out fine… I can head over around 9:30 to print them, be done with that by 11:30… head over with time to spare to get my nails done… get back to the apartment around 12:45 (they say the nails should only take like 20 minutes… but then they haven’t seen the shape mine are in)… then Laura and I can put them together and stuff the envelopes… I can also buy stamps right before or after nails… maybe I’ll even mail that package I have sitting by the door. [/streamofconsciousness]…

yeah. so sleepy…

17 days away

Thinking we might need less cake than planned… we were planning on cake for 160 people… but we only have about 100 YESes… so it looks like we’re going to lose the carrot cake… maybe…

need to meet w/ Wendy (flowers) on Saturday… gotta call Trina (photos) about getting together sat too.

Fierce belief: gift or poison?

So I’m reading stuff on www.iusedtobelieve.comand I can’t help but think of the whole Santa disillusionment for me. I mean, that happened when I was 9, and I still have issues with it… I still feel bitter about how I found out, etc. I guess I just needed something to hold onto then.

Can you all keep a secret? Because I’m about to share something that has the potential to be incredibly embarrassing. I was so naive… here goes…

So that year when I was 9, mom was pregnant with my brother & my grandma was dying of cancer. It seemed like forever that Grandma was in the hospital, but I learned later that it was only a span of about 2 weeks between when she went in and when she passed away. That was in September. Anyhow, so less than 2 months after Grandma died, my brother was born. (That was the beginning of November.) So there was a lot going on in my 9-yr-old life.
Meanwhile, I still was a strong believer in the Bearded One. When the Debates would take place on the bus rides home from school, I couldn’t help but argue his existence. (I guess it didn’t help that I truly believed that one of our bus drivers was Santa himself… but that’s another story altogether.) But not only did I believe Santa’s existence, I believed that he had a special connection to God, heaven, and all things divine. I mean, I knew Santa was “St. Nicholas,” and nothing short of a miracle would allow him to do what he did each year. So God Himself had to be in on the deal.

With that in mind, should it be any kind of surprise that I thought that he would be able to pass a message on to my deceased grandmother? I had written a letter to her on my good stationery and tucked it away to stick in my stocking on Christmas eve. Now, for years prior, my sister and I would make cards and such for Santa and stick them in our stockings before Christmas — when he went to fill them he would find them. And Mom and Dad knew about those, so it was ok to put them in early in December. But this letter had to wait until Christmas eve: I didn’t want Mom to find out about it. But Christmas Eve came and went too quickly, and so I forgot. I didn’t worry too much though… because I knew he didn’t just work on Christmas: he made the rounds too for St. Nicholas’ Day and for Little Christmas. So as long as I put it in my stocking on the eve of Little Christmas he would get it.

Mom told me right after New Year’s (right after I went back to school) the truth about Santa. I won’t go into details about that here or now because that’s not what this entry’s about. But the short of it is that I learned the truth before I put that letter out for Santa. I guess I’m thankful for that — I would have felt so embarrassed, and I’m willing to bet it would have been hard for mom to deal with then. I felt so broken though. Heck, as I write this, I still hold back tears. blah.

now remember… that all is a secret though. Right?

Sure.