poetry • art • marriage • momhood • faith

Blessed at 21 weeks

Well, Bacon Bit, we did it. We made it to 21 weeks.

What’s the big deal about 21?

You could say it’s lucky. I know it’s blessed.

* * * * *

Today I have surpassed the gestation when I had John Blaise, my first and latest-term loss, at 20 weeks 6 days. I have passed my other two loss gestations: Alexander’s at 18 weeks, and Kolbe’s at 14. Making it to today is a victory of sorts.

Yesterday, a good friend I met through our little saints celebrated her little boy Carpenter’s 4th heavenly birthday. If not for her loss, I would not have met her. If not for meeting her, I might not have finally conceded to drive over 100 miles to see my NaPro doctor. If not for that doctor—Dr. Lipscomb—and his personal investment in helping me find an answer, I might still be floundering for an answer and hope.

In his own way, Carpenter has interceded for Bacon Bit, helping this little rainbow grow brighter every day.

Today I have passed 20 weeks 6 days, the gestation at which this terrible, amazing, heart-shattering, heart-growing journey began.

Today, at 21 weeks, I am on a new journey.

God willing, there’ll be a rainbow at the end of it.


  1. Ev Ev
    February 20, 2016    

    21 is my lucky number, too. I’m thrilled for you and your entire family, Julie.

  2. Anne Kaylor Anne Kaylor
    February 20, 2016    

    At this moment, 21 is the most beautiful number I’ve ever seen! Congratulations, Julie, and my prayers continue that this journey will find a beautiful, healthy, baby at the end of this long road. Love and blessings.

  3. Joyce Ledgerwood Joyce Ledgerwood
    February 20, 2016    

    Heartfelt Prayers. ..Happy Tears. BEAUTIFULLY written, Julie!

  4. Judy Harrison Judy Harrison
    February 20, 2016    

    Thinking of you and Bacon Bit! Sometimes you have dark storms before beautiful rainbows. Praying for you on this journey to your rainbow. Love you!!

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torch bearing quietly

I will not act out, will not
yell or curse or slam doors,
will not make a scene -- you
do not deserve such a chance
to make an example out of me
to be proven right since you
are not. Instead, I'll stand
at this street corner, raise
my hand high and clench that
light which yet remains. It
will burn brightly, quietly,
fiercely before fading as I.

Then I'll be gone but found.

©JAC 2005

Poetry by Julie Ann Cook!

Order your copy of
Love Like Weeds
by Julie Ann Cook
through Main Street Rag Publishing Company.

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