poetry • art • marriage • momhood • faith

Humility and Starburst

Motherhood is one long lesson in humility. Pregnancy alone is an endless font of experiences in “keeping it real” and TMI. From the taboo and gross details of conception (God must have a sense if humor) to the raw “ewwww” of birth (yep, some sense of humor), it’s a wonder any mother maintains any illusion of self-pride postpartum.

And that’s a good thing.

It is amazing to me how God can take something like morning sickness to remind a woman she can’t control everything. Or how a big baby belly, shortness of breath, and an aching back can remind her that she can’t do everything. Or how a tragedy like miscarriage or stillbirth can be the means God uses to teach a woman she needs help along the way, and that life goes on, even in the face of death.

The past week I’ve been taking some prenatal refresher courses in humility. Which is to say, I’m pregnant! Our little “Starburst” is due the end of April. 🙂

…Yes, I’m pregnant and the nausea is here, coupled with my high-risk history, which has come to mean the couch is my home base.

I have been reminded I can only do so much and the world will keep turning even if the house is a mess. And I have been blessed by friends who have stepped up to help with meals and household chores without being asked. It is wonderful and humbling.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about this pregnancy. But I’m also confident God will carry me and my family through whatever this pregnancy brings.

And with that in mind I’m feeling less guilt about my time curled on the couch “doing nothing.” I know there is a chance it could be my only snuggle time with Starburst. I pray it’s not, but it could be. John Blaise & Alexander, our tiny saints who have gone before us, have taught me that much.

Whether long or short, I expect this pregnancy journey to be trying and, yes, humbling. Would you consider praying for us, all expectant mothers, and those struggling with infertility?

6 Comments

  1. Ev EQ Ev EQ
    September 11, 2014    

    🙂

  2. September 11, 2014    

    Wow Julie! Congratulations and of course you and your child’s safety will be on my mind and sending you all blessings! You are a brave and loving woman and you have so much LOVE to offer. I know that whatever happens (and happened) is always some kind of teaching lesson, no matter how trying, how humbling, or how tragic. But people don’t always see that fact and when the lesson falls on deaf ears it is such a wasted potential for spiritual growth. You are obviously very insightful and trusting of God and His higher purpose for all, and this is what makes you so open and receiving of Life, and so giving of it even in the face of all the possibilities, “good” and “bad”.

    I am so happy for you and as I said you will be in my thoughts and heart full of blessings for your entire family. I didn’t know that you have a blog but it’s lovely here and I will be looking around and obviously signing up for notifications. This piece of writing is so personal and touching and yes, humorous too (humor is so disarming, the only jovial warrior on the battlefield haha). Glad to have found you here and congratulations once again – TAKE GOOD CARE and absolutely no one will die of a messy house haha That’s SO TRUE!! 🙂

    Love,
    Rula

  3. September 11, 2014    

    By the way, I love the name of your blog and the “Old Cheese’ instead of “archives” is hilarious hahaha I’ve got to start getting more creative with mine!

  4. Lisa Lisa
    September 16, 2014    

    Yes, I’m praying. Your wording is beautiful. What wonderful reminders God uses to teach us that He is in ultimate control. Thank you too for the blurb about keeping infertiltiy women in prayer too. Hugs and love, and prayers! God Bless your growing family!

  5. Gabrielle Gabrielle
    September 24, 2014    

    …I love this post and you! Your strength and steadfast faith continually amaze me.

    OXOX, g

  6. Ei Ei
    September 26, 2014    

    Julie please know on your journey with your expected baby on
    the way I will be praying for you daily

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torch bearing quietly

I will not act out, will not
yell or curse or slam doors,
will not make a scene -- you
do not deserve such a chance
to make an example out of me
to be proven right since you
are not. Instead, I'll stand
at this street corner, raise
my hand high and clench that
light which yet remains. It
will burn brightly, quietly,
fiercely before fading as I.

Then I'll be gone but found.

©JAC 2005

Poetry by Julie Ann Cook!

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Love Like Weeds
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