Oops. I accidentally posted this before I had finished it. Or titled it. I decided not to go back and add to the original post. Except to tag and title it. — JAC
Dear Lightning Bug,
It is midnight the eve before I see you on the ultrasound screen for the first time. I am SO excited… and apparently pretty nervous too. I have been fighting physical symptoms of anxiety all weekend. I would much rather deal with pregnancy symptoms, if only because they are easier to explain.
You’re apparently about the size of a plum right now. At 10.5 weeks, I can still wear regular pants, but I unbutton them if I sit for any length of time. Yesterday I pulled out my bin of maternity clothes to take stock, in particular to look for a certain pair if capris. It was erie to see certain pieces of clothes and realize how many had memories attached: an outfit I wore to my baby shower, one I wore to a poetry reading, the top I wore when I found I was in preterm labor with one son, a top I wore to the NICU to visit the other.