Of Dreams and Bad Sleep

Six mornings ago I woke in mourning.  I had miscarried a second child.  I was sure of it.

I knew I had been dreaming.  But the line between wraith and reality had been blurred. I no longer knew where fears-turned-dreams ended and memories began.

What is it called when you can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, but you wake up a dozen times throughout the night, toss, and go back to dream-riddled-sleep?  Is that still considered insomnia?

Those too-real dreams can really affect a girl, and so, even though I realized the truth of it before I had finished my bowl of cereal, I was left in a funk.  I’m still not sure if I’ve fully shaken it.

Since then, I have been having night after night of restless sleep. I have tried going to bed early to allow myself to actually rest.  I have tried staying up and going to bed exhausted.  I have tried taking a sleep aid for the first (maybe second) time in my life.  Nothing has helped.  (And for the record, the Advil PM made matters worse.)  Today I cut out all caffeine.  Except chocolate. So I struggled with a headache all day.  And now I’m up past my bedtime.  But maybe, just maybe, I’ll dream happy, restful dreams tonight.

Or none at all.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.