poetry • art • marriage • momhood • faith

it takes some good to make it hurt

I swear, my head is about to explode. Or something. The past few days have been a constant emotional roller coaster.

Starting with Saturday, I actually got some work done in my (lame excuse for a) garden. Mostly I just weeded, but I also spread out some plants and generally just felt good about accomplishing that much. It’s hard to garden with two small “helpers” who would prefer a construction zone for toy trucks over a garden any day.

Also on Saturday and early Sunday, I got a lot of work done on laying out SMR #3. I’m feeling good about how that’s shaping up, but I’m still lacking in the cover department, so I’m starting to stress over my creative block in that arena.

Sunday night, I have learned that a close friend has cancer. Today I was told another close friend’s father has it too. I don’t know how threatening either one’s condition is, which leaves plenty of room to speculate and worry. I’ve felt like crying since, but haven’t.

On Monday, I was offered a notable job opportunity. It would mean big changes from finances to responsibilities to habits. But it’s not clear cut if it would be the best move for me, mostly since it’s still not quite what I want to be doing.

Also on Monday, I made some good progress on a pet web/poetry progress, which I’m sure to blog about in the near future.

Last night I went to a good business class & felt empowered.

Today I finished a big project at work which felt like I’d been working on forever, so that was a relief. Then before leaving I spoke with HR candidly about the job opportunity I’d received. Basically, that was left with me needing to decide what I want. They might match the pay. If I ask for it.

Today, thank God for easy, happy decisions to make: I got the email announcing Jason Mraz’ US
tour info — and he’s stopping within an hour of here! So I’m pre-ordering my ticket(s) tomorrow. Oh, happy day — April 17th!! I so need that! Of course, DH isn’t interested in going. I think if I’d press, he’d come. Or if the tickets were free. But he says he really has no interest. And I’d hate to push him to come, because then I’d feel responsible for him enjoying himself, and I wouldn’t really enjoy it. So, I’m going to try to find a “date,” but I might just “go stag”… it could be fun to be “single” for the night.

Life is crazy, huh?

(I am so freaking exhausted.)

3 Comments

  1. Ginger Ginger
    March 6, 2008    

    dang, i’m tired just reading that! i am going to have an actual garden this year too…hopefully, in the 2 swall patches of dirt i currently have to work with. i’ve never grown anything except pansies before so this should be a good learning experience.

    must go see if jason mraz is coming to colorado on tour now….i hope your friends are okay and that your job situation works out well. nice job julie.

  2. Chucka Stone Designs Chucka Stone Designs
    March 6, 2008    

    BUSY GIRL!!! Wow it sounds like you have done so much the past few days you must be wiped out! You are a lucky duck that the garden can even get some love. We’re still frozen ground up here 🙂 Happy to hear SMR#3 is coming together well. Maybe all you need is to step away from everything for a few minutes & the cover idea will come to you. Doing so much can stress you out & it is hard to be creative then!

    So where did this mysterious Mraz tour email come from? I am on the mailing list but didn’t see one grrr…Sista you KNOW I would be going with you to that show if I could get all the way down there 🙂 Now I need to check if he’s around here closer than Philly…

  3. zila zila
    March 7, 2008    

    Where’s the show? Last time I went to Mraz was a LOOOONNNNGGGG time ago. 🙂

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torch bearing quietly

I will not act out, will not
yell or curse or slam doors,
will not make a scene -- you
do not deserve such a chance
to make an example out of me
to be proven right since you
are not. Instead, I'll stand
at this street corner, raise
my hand high and clench that
light which yet remains. It
will burn brightly, quietly,
fiercely before fading as I.

Then I'll be gone but found.

©JAC 2005

Poetry by Julie Ann Cook!

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Love Like Weeds
by Julie Ann Cook
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